Six Hawaiian Hotspots for Singles
There’s a reason why Hawaii is consistently ranked one of the top honeymoon destinations in the world: There’s something about the sultry island air that makes you want to do the horizontal hula the moment you step off the plane.
Blame the humidity, the skimpy clothes and the decadent rhythm of life. Or, be frank and blame biology: Our bodies seem to be primed for a good time when we’re on a booze-soaked vacation that’s jam packed with chicks in bikinis and shirtless boys in board shorts.
But, for those who arrive on our sun-drenched shores unencumbered, Hawaii can seem chock-full of little more than newlyweds and nearly deads. Rest assured, frisky kitty: Each island’s got a number of prime places packed with sexy singles—you just need to know where to look.
So, leave your binoculars at home in Duluth, Roger Dodger and listen up. Here are six sweet spots to find a hottie who might be willing to show off their tan lines:
1) Karaoke Bars
Karaoke Bars might seem like a mecca for freshly-knotted couples straight from their backyard nuptials in Kentucky, but the islands ain’t a party cruise in the Caribbean, Captain Jack: Karaoke bars are swarming with local singletons looking for a swinging good time.
Hit the late night jam when the crowds will be looser with that ubiquitous aloha spirit. Men: Let the local boys shine on stage (lest you rub them the wrong way) and stick to the chicks who gather in clusters and head outside between drinks for a smoke. Bring a lighter and then woo them with those gentlemanly ways you learned at etiquette camp in Vermont.
Gal-pals, the rules are fair and square: Don’t flirt with someone else’s man, defer to titas in the bathroom and beyond, and pack some condoms in that pretty little Coach purse—after all, the last thing you need is to head home with a souvenir between your legs.
2) Yoga Festivals
Come off it, Crossfit Chris: Surely you can make like a yogi for once and leave that ego at the door (of your hotel room, that is)?
Trust us when we say that yoga fests are hubs to get rubbed. This year’s Wanderlust brought a record breaking number of bendable babes to Oahu’s North Shore and every island is positively teeming with hemp-milk-sipping, starry-eyed bohemians searching to deepen their poses.
Sidestep the Lululemon kids from Orange County and search for the more free-spirited Athleta wearers. Can’t book your tix to coincide with a fest? Check out Acro Yoga at a local beach.
You may be able to Namaste your way into Downward Facing Dog’s naughtier, er, style.
3) Whole Foods/Island Gourmet Markets
Odd choice? Think again, Samantha Jones.
Whole Foods—and its cousin, Island Gourmet—sees a healthy stream of sun-spackled singletons strolling in after their first attempt at surfing to load up on papayas, chips, and six packs.
Whole Foods earned its Whole Paycheck moniker for good reason, so you can bet your bottom sandy dollar that the peeps here will share in your penchant for overpriced cocktails by your hotel pool.
And, seriously, how many other times in your life do you honestly get to say, “my room is right upstairs?”
4) Tattoo Parlors
Why? Because this is precisely where hot messes flock to when they get a burst of inspiration and want to get baby dolphins inked on their ankles.
Truly, tattoo parlors—often within the vicinity of dive bars, sex shops, 7-11s, KFCs, Filipino dance clubs and nail salons—are veritable hotbeds of blottos looking to knock off an item on their bucket list.
Wander in with some winsome supplies (most parlors are cool with outside drinks), peruse that book of body art and offer sympathy and encouragement to that blitzed Bakersfieldian whose friends convinced her to get her nipples pierced.
5) Happy Hours
Well, duh, you may be thinking, but we’re not talking about $2 Budweisers at Bubba Gump’s, Michael Scott.
No, wait for the real Happy Hour—Pau Hana for industry workers who get off between 9 and 11. Check the discount circuit for places that peddle dollar beers just off the Teva-trodden path.
Servers recently off catering to tourists for nine hours won’t have much patience for your orthodontist-smile, so act like a local, smoke a joint in the alley, tip like a baller and then kick back and wait. Remember: You’re now officially on island time.
6) Art Galleries
I’m totally fucking kidding. Art galleries are a magnet for those newlyweds and nearly deads you’re desperately trying to skirt. (Think: Couples so mismatched there’s no doubt one of ‘em’s got a will nailed to the head board).
Schlep back to number one. Then sing your heart out, soldier. Just make sure to choose something besides Blue Hawaii.
Know any other hot spots for singles? Share, dammit!!!